I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
