I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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