love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
