You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
