Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
NoShamevember. You game?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
