Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
