don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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