the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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