I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
