Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
