she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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