Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
