i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
