he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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