Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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