Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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