just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
