So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
