Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
