Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
