You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
