Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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