Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
