CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
