How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Your cock deserves a montage
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
