i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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