no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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