so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
