I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize