I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
