Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
