Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
