I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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