Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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