Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
