Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
