I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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