i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
