Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
