dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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