can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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