John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
