She went from zero to smokin in five shots
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
