You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
