dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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