So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
