I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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