I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I am morally bankrupt
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
