drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
