better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
